It’s been a long week. Work is becoming increasingly frustrating. There is a lot to do, but I haven’t received enough training about how to do it, and in some cases, not even an explanation about all the responsibilities that fall to our office. For example, emails about “OHF approval requests” suddenly began appearing in my inbox, but I had no idea what an OHF actually is despite my best efforts to search our files for documentation. My director is spread out very thinly, and sometimes I worry he may be at a breaking point, so I can’t fault him for not being able to give me more attention. Meanwhile, I’m supervising two temps who have even less of a clue than me about what needs to be done and how to do it. One of the more senior career staff persons on my team has been on an extended leave and unlikely to return anytime soon. Thankfully, the one career staff person still active on my team is fairly autonomous, although understandably she is very anxious to hand off duties that have been temporarily assigned to her due to staff shortages. All that said, I’m not particularly surprised by the disordered state of things and remind myself that I’m well qualified to take on these challenges.
Meanwhile, the passing of my friend Adam last week continues to weigh heavy on my mind and heart. Earlier in the week I sorted through my photo library to pick out the best ones of Adam over the last nine years, around 140 photos and videos, and uploaded them to a Google drive folder to share with his sister. Yesterday she flew out to Portland to deal with his stuff, and I texted her about several items I had given or lent to Adam so that these items could be passed along to his friends instead of being thrown out. There’s nothing I want/need to have back, especially given that I’m in Ireland for the foreseeable future. Today she texted back to let me know Adam’s memorial service will be held next Wednesday, September 1st, in Bayonne, New Jersey. I wish I could be there, but I don’t think it would be feasible given the situation at work right now, let alone cost and COVID-19 considerations.
My friend V made an impromptu visit to Dublin from Copenhagen this week. The good company and distraction were most welcomed. Although he was only here from Tuesday until Thursday over work days, we still had the opportunity to spend time together in the evenings, including a happy hour with my friend CJ at the Pennylane bar and a nice dinner at an upscale Japanese restaurant. We also met up for lunch on Wednesday, picking up some takeaway burritos and walking to a park in the Dublin Castle complex not far from Sprangers Yard. As we approached, we heard a brass band playing music for what I later learned was a ceremony to bestow 13 awards to members of the gardaí (police) and their families. This included medals of bravery given posthumously to three detectives shot by the IRA in August 1940. Although the park itself was closed off for the ceremony, we were able to sit around a nearby fountain and partake of the fanfare.
Last night I attended my last Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) group session over Zoom. I have repeated all the modules twice, so at this point it does not make much sense to keep going over the same material. I also am conscious that there may people on the program’s waiting list, and I did not want to keep taking up a spot. The program was almost entirely covered by my U.S. health insurance, although co-pays have started up again after being suspended at the onset of COVID-19. The premiums for my COBRA continuation coverage for health insurance are subsidized through the end of September, and it’s doubtful I will choose to pay $800+/month again for the limited benefits I can access from abroad. Now that I have signed up for private health insurance in Ireland, I need to start tapping into the resources available to me here, including finding a primary care doctor (known as a “GP” here).
The weather has been warm and clear, a last hurrah of summer before autumn takes hold. After my work week finally was over, I headed out of the apartment for my habitual walk to St. Patrick’s Cathedral park. The air turned chilly as soon as the sun dropped below the surrounding buildings, noticeably much earlier than recent evening visits. Rather than sadness, I find reassurance in the change of seasons — a reminder that no matter how long tough times in life may seem, they too shall pass.
Until next time….
